What about the rehearsal? Yes or no?

by Apr 25, 2019

I should say at the outset that this is my opinion. 

Should you have a rehearsal? My answer is no, with a proviso. 

It is my long experience that that a wedding ceremony goes best when it happens naturally and to some extent spontaneously. A wedding ceremony should be the simplest part of the wedding day and the job of the Marriage Officer is to guide the wedding party through the process on the day. A touch of awkward uncertainty in the moment adds charm and authenticity to the moment. When it is a well rehearsed procession, it feels like it.  It should not feel like that. 

This is especially true for small weddings – less than 50 people. This is already intimate by it’s size and a natural unrehearsed ceremony keeps that feel. 

When people think about anything for too long they make it complicated. That is a human condition. So when the entire wedding party show up at a venue to rehearse the effort is justified by thinking about it too much. I have seen people forget how to walk because they are thinking about it too much. 

Let the moment unfold naturally.  If you are particularly concerned about it then I suggest you plan a get together of the wedding party for dinner at a restaurant or other venue. Spend 10 minutes “rehearsing” and then party. It’s a great excuse to get everyone together one last time before the wedding. Make it about that and not a big focus on the rehearsal. 

My proviso: If the wedding is particularly large – 150 guests or more then it has become more of a production and a rehearsal may be necessary. If there are complicated and multiple elements during the ceremony then a rehearsal may be necessary. But this is uncommon so don’t sweat it. 

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