Advice for grooms on your wedding day
The day of the wedding can be an interesting one for you as the groom. Weddings, really, are about the bride. Of course, you are important and everyone wants you there and they want you happy and looking good but essentially you want to do all of this to make your bride look exceptional.
If you’re a gay couple, that is to say you’re one of two grooms, well then this advice is for both of you!
Without falling into the terrible trap of stereotyping it is fairly safe to say that woman and men approach the wedding day differently, emotionally and practically. Men tend not too fuss about the details. As long as you know what to wear and where to be at what time, you’re fine.
Having said that, your wedding day is an important moment and an emotional day so with that in mind, here’s some practical advice:
- Eat. An obvious statement but get good food before the ceremony. Have a good lunch.
- Drink water. Keep hydrated. If you’re hungry and dehydrated you are at greater risk of being light headed or even being feint during the heightened emotion of your ceremony.
- Take alcohol in moderation. In the time before a ceremony a guy will hang with his friends. It truly is an awesome time to be with your guys in the run up to this great event. Friends being friends and particularly being guy friends, will encourage you to drink to “settle the nerves”. Enjoy a few but do not be tipsy or drunk when the moment rolls around. This is especially an issue if you have ignored point 1 and two above.
- Be active. Not sweaty active, just occupied. Play golf, or video games, whatever. Being bored just makes you think and that can make you nervous when you don’t need to be.
- Keep your attention “outward”. One of the unspoken duties of the groom is to greet the guests as they arrive. This is the main time where you will be centre of attention since the bride is not around. Every guest that arrives will probably ask if you are nervous. Even if you haven’t been, after the 20th person has asked you may feel nerves begin to creep in. The instinct here is to start thinking of your speech, or being in front of everyone and this will make you even more nervous and so a cycle begins. When you feel nervous focus your attention for short periods on things far away from. Look at the view, notice trees in the distant or listen for distant traffic. The more you keep your attention outward rather on yourself the better. This will help keep you relaxed.
- If you feel awkward, you’re doing it right. Once everyone is seated you’ll be standing in front of everyone waiting for your bride’s big moment. You will probably feel awkward and not sure what to do with your hands or yourself. This is exactly how you’re supposed to feel. It’s part of the deal. Enjoy feeling that way. You won’t for very long.
- Take a quiet moment with your wife. After the ceremony and just before you are presented to the assembled family and friends take a quiet moment. Get the photographer, groomsmen, bridesmaids and anyone else to leave and just be with each other. It is the last time you will be alone until much much later, after the party. You’ve just got married so appreciate each other for just a moment before the madness begins!
Barring some terrible logistical crises, there is not much for you to do in the hours leading up the ceremony. This is a blessing as a curse but with the above you can relax and enjoy it, as you should.
"The New Normal" is a phrase most of are bone tired of hearing. It has been used, re-used, re-hashed and beaten since the start of the pandemic in early 2020. We can't argue though that so much of our regular lives have changed with a different outlook and approach...
Elope is defined as "run away secretly in order to get married." In years passed this had a bit of a negative connotation - the idea that star crossed lovers, who were forbidden from being married for reasons of religion, culture or status, would run away and get...
No. Of course that's not the full answer. There are some marriage officers who will not perform a wedding in the open, some will do a ceremony outside but insist the register be signed indoors. While most will perform your wedding wherever you want. The law...